I read an interesting blog thing on the main site today. About people hating anoretics. The thing is I can understand what alot of people get at when they hear they are sick of reading about it. There are so many "pro ana" sites and people that want to be anoretic. People that find it to be a game. People posting thinspo and joining weight loss groups. I can see where people get the wrong idea about these girls with ED's. The people that glorify it giving them pretty names like Mia and Ana..... I'm here to say something "we" are not a group. "We" are all individual people AWAY from those groups of self centered little girls. "WE" suffer from our disorders. Not glorify them. To the people that like being anoretics....Have fun with hurting every morning when you get up even after you've started recovery because your joints are like that of an 80 year old ladies. Have fun with your teeth rotting from bile and your stomach burning itself from its own juices. Losing your hair having heart palputations and bad breath. Your muscles breaking down to the point you can hardly move. Then just wait for the psycological...Hating yourself despite your bones jutting out cuz your still "to fat". Having your friends and family scream at you and cry because your literally killing yourself mean while you walk around angry at all the wrong people because your really actually scared they are right inside..Have fun with the feeding tubes and being stuck in a wheel chair for two weeks while they try to put weight on you....Have fun fighting this whole thing for the REST OF YOUR LIFE... Still sound like fun? I can also understand someone with a real ED saying they don't want to get better. I still have ALOT of days as you will see that I fight it. I find comfort in my ED. Am I proud that I am an anoretic and suffer from bulimia? No but its how I control things. It is fucking terrifying to try to recover. Its even scarier knowing that you will be in recovery for the rest of your life. You have to work at it until the day you die. Ill admit some days its easier to just stay out of the kitchen than to force yourself to eat...I get that.... In other words I did something tonite that I thought I was over....Actually I've been doing it alot lately but I have actually binged I ate 2 cups broccolie 60 cals w 30 cals dressing and some noodles around 90 cals altogether 180 cals Then I started to panic because I ate. I went in and I purged and purged until my throat burned and I couldn't get anymore up....I'm so disappointed in myself..this isnt recovery in fact im falling into full blown remission...Now to make it stop.... I didn't chew and spit today though! First time in a LOOOOONG time.      
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